What is it like to try to be mindful? I say ‘try’ because we are all human. I try so hard to be mindful of every person and every situation. I give people the benefit of the doubt. I try to imagine how people are feeling or what they could be going through. Even kind, caring and compassionate people can snap. They can yell or be mad. People are people.
Someone once said to me:
“Everyone has someone who loves them.”
That might seem stupid to some….. Of course everyone has someone who loves them!!! Think about it again. Think about the most rotten person you can think of. (I’m not giving ANY examples) from your life or world history.
“Somebody loves them.”
Then I think, why are they like this? Did something bad happen to them? Were they hurt?
You just don’t know.
EVERYBODY is going through something you don’t know about. Just stopping to think this thought is being mindful. Think it before being sassy to the waitress who keeps forgetting to check on your table. Think it before yelling at your kids for making a mistake. Think it before you bug out because someone is not calling you back. Take a deep breath. Take a couple. Now, what if that waitress had a death in the family, but HAS to go to work because she can’t afford to miss a day? What if your kid made a mistake because they are being bullied and are too scared to tell anyone? What if that person who isn’t calling you back is depressed. What if they are expecting you to call them back?
There are so many what if’s in the mindful mindset.
To be mindful, you need to question things. Put extra thought into things. Focus your energy into it. Be present. I always taught my kids that if you are feeling angry, you should pause and think about what you are going let come out of your mouth. Will it make you feel awful? Will you hurt someone else?
If someone in your path is clearly cranky, sad, disgruntled or unpleasant. Find something nice to say. Compliment them. If that doesn’t work, just move on with your day. If making someone worse makes you feel better than clearly you have some issues you need to work on.
My biggest struggle is how busy and fast paced the world is becoming. I have no problems being mindful of all the people in a hurry everywhere I go. Whether I’m driving a car or pushing a shopping cart, I feel like I’m constantly getting out of their way. It just makes me sad when I have to see so many people rushing around, and for what? I am trying to learn to let that go. (I take A LOT of deep breaths) It is hard to live a life completely free of judgement. Sometimes we are judging when our intent is not to.
So, in your mindfulness practice…. Think and question.. Accept what you cannot change…. (I’m working on it too!) Try not to judge… Empathize…. You are here…. and so are they.